<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Inward by logastella</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24012550">Inward</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/logastella/pseuds/logastella'>logastella</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Episode: s02e13 One of Us, Gen, Stream of Consciousness, kind of</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 23:28:52</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>632</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24012550</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/logastella/pseuds/logastella</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"You weren't stopping your powers Skye, you were...directing them inward."</p>
<p>A look at some of Skye's thoughts as she processes and works to control her new powers.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Inward</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I couldn’t let them die.</p>
<p>I couldn’t let them be hurt.</p>
<p>Whatever else I may have felt, I knew that from the beginning.</p>
<p>When my power was first triggered, I wasn’t strong enough to stop it. No matter how I tried to grab on and bring it under control, it poured out of me like a geyser, like so much water under pressure that had finally been released. I tried to stop the torrent, but there was no containing this geyser.</p>
<p>So I froze it.</p><hr/>
<p>When I awoke again, I could feel it trembling beneath the surface. But I was still. Nothing reached me under the drained, deadened calm of realization. My friends had to be protected from me. So I packed myself into the same bag I had brought with me when I had first joined the team, and then sealed myself away from them.</p>
<p>Things started to look up. At the least, everyone knew to be careful around me now. Surrounded by those reinforced walls, I began to learn control. I used what May had taught me. Focal point. Everything else fades. And when my power would start to trickle out, I would call it back to me. Return to the focal point, and let it fade away.</p>
<p>It didn’t feel like the same kind of stillness. It would churn beneath the surface, rumbling and begging for release. I felt achy and vaguely nauseous with the constant humming in my body.</p>
<p>But I was different now. And this was progress. It fueled my determination. Discomfort was infinitely preferable to destruction.</p>
<p>Soon, they wouldn’t be in danger from me. I could live my life again.</p>
<p>But I guess I couldn’t hold it in forever.</p><hr/>
<p>My father disappears, even as his words continue to ring in my mind. <em>I think it’s wonderful. The truth is, you’re capable of such things.</em> Then – chaos.</p>
<p>I watch as Coulson and May are attacked. By people like me. And for a moment, it doesn’t matter that I’ve been forbidden to fight. All I can do is stare.</p>
<p>The Kree said that we were designed to be weapons. Dangerous weapons. The kind that S.H.I.E.L.D. must neutralize. The kind that even Asgardians try to lock away.</p>
<p>Was that all that I was now? All that S.H.I.E.L.D. would ever see me as?</p>
<p>The ground starts to shake. The geyser surges up, feeding off my revelation.</p>
<p>
  <em>No…</em>
</p>
<p>And then I see May and Coulson – my family – staring at their shaking surroundings. Staring at me.</p>
<p>In fear.</p>
<p>
  <em>No!</em>
</p>
<p>And with all my will, I call the torrent of power back to me.</p>
<p>I pull and pull…</p>
<p>And the shaking stops.</p>
<p>For a whole second, I’m almost elated. This was the strongest wave yet. But I held it back. They were safe from me.</p>
<p>And then the world starts to turn fuzzy.</p>
<p>I look down as the ever-present ache in my arms turns into a searing, burning pain, like thousands of bone-deep needles. My vision starts to gray out around the edges, and I see Coulson running towards me as my breaths echo in my ears.</p>
<p>
  <em>No, don’t come any…</em>
</p><hr/>
<p>When I wake, it’s to two fractured arms – and an even more painful truth. Andrew tells me that rather than controlling my powers, I’ve been directing them inward. The torrent hadn’t been disappearing – just erupting somewhere else.</p>
<p>Simmons has designed casts that will help with the tremors. May promises that we’ll figure this out.</p>
<p>But once they all leave, I can’t bring myself to regret my actions like I should.</p>
<p>Maybe I hurt myself.</p>
<p>Maybe I didn’t achieve real, proper control.</p>
<p>But I stopped myself from hurting my friends.</p>
<p>Surely…surely that was worth it.</p>
<p>How can that not be worth it?</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>